So how do you REALLY do with change?

“It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.” Isaac Asimov

  I like to think of myself as someone who adapts and even embraces change. I think I may be self-deluded. Maybe it’s when you’re forced to change, when you have no input or control, that change becomes more frustrating…I’m not sure. Yet, two small changes in my life really frustrated me. When I share them, you’ll probably think I’m silly. I was. One of them I knew was very temporary, yet it still irritated me.

  Recently, they’ve been doing road work near our home. To do this, they shut down County W for two weeks. Now I have no idea what they were doing. Now that it’s completed, I’m still not sure what they did. But I knew that it inconvenienced me. That’s the route I take when I drive to Burlington. Closing it down meant I had to change my route. It meant I had to plan ahead because it was going to take a little longer. It meant I couldn’t go into autopilot and had to actually think when I drove.

  That’s probably what I found the most frustrating. I’ve driven that route so many times, my mind goes into neutral. I hardly give it a second thought…until they closed the road. Too many times I still didn’t give it a second thought, until I was halfway down the road, and realized it was closed. I had to turn around to go another route. I wish I could say it only happened once or twice, it was probably half a dozen. I was so happy when the work was complete and I could go back to my old, familiar routine. The small change was giving me a big headache. 

  The second big change for me was at the Wellness Center. Because of vacation and my hectic schedule, I’d missed a few days. While I was absent, they discarded the elliptical machine I use every time I go. It was over fifteen years old and was too costly to repair. There’s a reason though I used that particular machine. While there are several other elliptical machines, I don’t like them. I liked MY machine! In the interest of full disclosure, I don’t like going to the Wellness Center. You probably know some exercise fanatic…maybe you’re one. I’m not. I hate going to the Wellness Center. It’s not that I detest exercising, though it’s not my favorite thing to do, it’s the time. It seems like the time there drags slower than a snail moving through peanut butter.  

  So for me, the best way to endure the tedium is to read. I crank up my music and read away. Before I know it, I’m done. That was the problem. The best machine for me to use while I read was the one they retired. It had just the right angle so I could set up my book and read. Now I’m having to learn new machines with new settings. It’s a balancing act, as I get my book in place, read and exercise all at the same time. The new machines seem to have been designed for taller people, not someone horizontally challenged like myself. It’s became so frustrating, that if I wasn’t a member and didn’t really, really like the staff, I’d find another fitness club. All of these seemingly little changes were a big hassle for me.

  As I was mulling my resistance to change over, it struck me that I do fairly well with change if it doesn’t require much from me, in this particular case, to invest much mental effort. For example, I love trying new restaurants, yet there’s a sense of the familiar there – menu, wait staff, food, etc. If I don’t like it, I can leave. Yet, with these two changes, I had no choice. I was forced to change and I didn’t like it.

  Every day we face change. Our culture is going through cataclysmic changes…some good, some bad. As Christians, we’re committed to righteousness, yet we find ourselves in the midst of moral tsunamis. We feel frustrated and overwhelmed with all of the changes. Psalms 11:3 asks a powerful question about cataclysmic spiritual changes, one maybe you’ve also asked, “If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?”

  The great Bible expositor, Charles Haddon Spurgeon, pointed out that the real answer is: What can they not do in the Lord? He pointed out that "when prayer engages God on our side, and when faith secures the fulfillment of promise, what cause can there be for flight, however cruel and mighty our enemies?" Yes, moral absolutes and biblical values are under attack. The foundations are being destroyed; the culture is dramatically changing and not for the good. Yet, many of us have failed to realize, have forgotten, or just don’t believe that there are any resources left. The Bible reminds us that, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). The world changes; Jesus never does. He’s not surprised by the changes that threaten to sink our little ships. Jesus Christ, the eternal Word of God, created all things for His own good pleasure. He works all things after the counsel of His own will. For all those who care, there’s much that the righteous can do. 

  We can pray. Most of the time we tend to pray God will protect us. Though we may not say it like this, we hope that He’ll keep our own little worlds from being too rattled by change. Instead though, we need to pray for revival, even if it does turns our worlds upside down. we need to pray that God will pour out on us a fresh moving of His Spirit. Then, instead of watching change, we’d be part of the change…for good…for godliness.

  We can persevere in godliness. Many Christians believe America is in its last days. We don’t know that. Jesus said, “Concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only” (Matthew 24:36). Just recently, I was reading about King Hezekiah (2 Kings 18-20). God was pouring out His cup of His judgment on Israel. It was all about to come raining down but then Hezekiah came on the scene. Hezekiah didn’t just know God’s Word, he took it seriously and applied it…and wonderfully, God held back His judgment for another generation.

  I wonder what God might do, if we, if the Church, got serious? If we prayed for revival and obeyed God’s Word? Instead of playing the “church game,” if we determined to surrender ourselves completely to Jesus Christ. I wonder what would happen if Grace Church truly lived out, “For to us to live is Christ…” (Philippians 1:21). That would be a huge change. I think it’d be a change that would so rock our world, we’d see revival.

  Change cuts both ways. By God’s grace, by our surrender and trust, let’s be part of the change that begins in our own hearts and brings another outpouring of God’s Spirit and power. Let’s be part of change that makes an eternal difference for God’s glory!

Tony Stewart the Killer???

“Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” Abraham Lincoln

  The NASCAR world has been abuzz all week about Tony Stewart. In case you missed it, on Saturday, August 9^th, during a small non-NASCAR sprint car race in Canandaigua (N.Y.), as he came out of Turn 2, Tony Stewart’s car squeezed Kevin Ward’s car up into the outside wall, turning it around. Ward’s car ended up with a flat tire as a result. Kevin Ward then exited his car, incensed with Stewart's move. He marched down the middle of the racetrack, gesturing angrily at Tony Stewart as he approaches on the ensuing caution lap. Stewart clipped Ward, throwing him down the track. Ward was rushed to a local hospital but was pronounced dead on arrival.

  If you’ve watched the video, it’s horrifying. Some believe that Tony Stewart purposely struck Kevin Ward. I don’t think so. Ward goes right out into the center of the track, going at Stewart’s car in a man against machine confrontation. Then, Stewart struck and killed him. Only Tony Stewart really knows what happened in that split second.

  But the main reason there’s even a question on whether it was intentional or accidental is because of Tony Stewart’s reputation for being a hothead. He’s the poster child for “Road Rage.” For more than a decade, he’s plowed down pit crew members, threatened to run fellow competitors off the track, shoved drivers in anger and even threw his helmet at a car.

  Back in August of 2012, a raging Tony Stewart threw his helmet at Matt Kenseth’s car during the Bristol, TN race. The helmet hit the vehicle square on the hood as it sped past. Afterwards, Stewart said he’d “run over' Kenseth “every chance [he] got.” In March of 2013, he accused driver Joey Logano of blocking his car in a race in Fontana, California. When it was over, Stewart stormed towards Logano, shoved him and threatened to run him over. The two drivers were eventually separated by their crews, but Stewart remained fuming. During his rookie year Stewart tried to climb in Kenny Irwin's window to get to him after an incident in Martinsville. Other incidents include post race run-ins with Jeff Gordon, a shoving incident in Daytona with Robby Gordon, and multiple incidents with reporters. It’s a long list of blowups. Just recently, he was fined and put on probation by both NASCAR and Home Depot for an incident with a photographer after the Brickyard 400. He was investigated by the Sullivan County, TN sheriff's department for allegedly shoving a woman after the race in Bristol, and a safety worker from New Hampshire accused Stewart of punching him after Stewart wrecked at the July race.

  He’s a hothead. Seemingly, he doesn’t have a control mechanism to turn off his raging temper. His outbursts are nearly always physical. If he were only yelling at other drivers, reporters, fans and safety workers that would make for a good story, but it wouldn't be worthy of fines and suspensions. But he’s known for punching, shoving and even hitting with his car.  

  While I don’t believe Stewart purposefully struck Kevin Ward, Stewart’s reputation of being a hothead is so well known, that even if he’s innocent, in the eyes of many racing fans, he’ll be judged guilty. Over the rest of his career there will always be a shadow of doubt about what really happened.

  Reputation? If someone has a reputation for flying off the handle, others start giving them a wide berth, so they won’t be trapped in a meltdown. Yet, when they do have a case of being legitimately angry, they’re often tuned out. They’ve gone ballistic too many times before.

  When someone has a reputation for lying, when they do finally tell the truth, there’s skepticism. If someone is a chronic complainer, others begin to blow them off. Yet, when they have a legitimate complaint, there’s a high potential they’ll be ignored.

  Sadly, a young person can get a reputation as a troublemaker. Because their reputation proceeds them, even when they’re innocent, they’re often judged guilty. If something happens, he or she is often the first suspect and has to prove their innocence.

  Wonderfully, reputation has a positive side as well. If you have a reputation for being a hard worker, for being diligent, for giving 100%...it can protect you. When management is looking to make cuts or if there’s an issue of poor quality work in a department, the diligent worker’s reputation will often help them keep their job and protect them from accusations.

  If you have a reputation for consistently being punctual, when you’re late because of some unforeseen delay, those who know you are surprised. A college professor with a good reputation for quality material and being fair, will have students lining up to take his class.

  Proverbs 22:1 says, “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.” Everyone of us has a reputation – good or bad. A good one can’t be bought. It must be earned.

  It’s virtually impossible to be an effective Christian or have a witness for Jesus, if your reputation has been soiled by sinful or obnoxious behavior. A good reputation though wins us a hearing.

  Our reputation is not how we see ourselves. It’s not even how our friends view us. It’s how those who aren’t immediately connected to us see us.  

  Many of us would do well to discover our reputation with mature and credible individuals who aren’t in our close circles. It might challenge us to make upward strides spiritually, as we learn that there are chinks in our armor that need some spiritual attention, intervention and growth.

  A good reputation is easy to lose and hard to earn. Yet, if we’re going to be effective for the Lord, a good reputation isn’t optional.

  Hypocrisy is probably the worst accusation a Christian can face. While a good reputation doesn’t come from perfectionism (we’re all sinners), it is a result though, to quote Eugene Peterson, “of a long obedience in the same direction.” How’s your reputation? What kind of person are you known to be?

Hi! My name is Scott, and I'm an addict...

“Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.” Francis Bacon

  “Hi! My name is Scott…and I’m an addict.” This is the second year that Jane and I have stayed in a cabin in Tennessee for our vacation. And we’ve already reserved it for next year. Being there again though made me aware that I was an addict and having to go “cold turkey” while there.

  The owners named this cabin “Two’s Company.” It’s about ten miles east of Monterey, TN, in the midst of a Mennonite community, called Muddy Pond. The cabin is nestled on the banks of a 1 1/2 acre private lake. It’s built of beautiful wood, inside and out. From the back porch, you walk straight down to the dock. And if you didn’t know where it was, you’d probably never find it. As soon as you turn down the winding country road tightly hemmed by evergreens, you begin to feel the difference…even in the atmosphere. It’s secluded, comfortable, romantic and very private. You’re in the midst of acres of solitude with a feeling of peace over it all.

  Each night we’d listen to a chorus of bullfrogs. On the way in, because we’d been there before, I bought a 5 lb bag of dog food to feed the catfish. We watched a fawn come down to the water’s edge. A blue heron, along with a flock of Canadian geese, were our only neighbors. There’s no phone, no cable and no Internet. It’s very isolated and very, very quiet. Yet, the first day there though I found I was feeling a bit anxious…then it hit me. I was detoxing and it was a little uncomfortable. I was feeling the absence of all technological connections. It felt weird, like a new suit that’s a bit scratchy. It took me a couple of days to get used to it, and then I began to thoroughly enjoy it.

  It reminded me though once again – I’m an addict, a technology addict. So are most of you. Technology, like phones, TV and cars, is so much a part of our lives, we don’t even realize it and hardly know how to live without it. That was highlighted for me by this recent experience in the mountains. We had to drive half a mile away from the cabin just to get a bar on our phone to be able to text. If we wanted to use the Internet or check email, we had to drive ten miles into town to the public library or down the road half an hour to Starbucks.

  Are you an addict? Which would you prefer: pain or being disconnected? The weekly journal, Nature, recently reported, “Given the choice, many people would rather give themselves mild electric shocks than sit idly in a room for 15 minutes, according to a study published in Science.” In an experiment led by social psychologist, Timothy Wilson, at the University of Virginia, 409 undergrads were asked to sit alone without mobile devices, books, or any other kind of entertainment for just 15 minutes. That’s it, a mere 15 minutes. Nearly half found this unpleasant. Allowed to repeat the experiment in the comfort of their own homes, nearly one-third of the study subjects later admitted to cheating.

  But here’s the shocking part. In the next experiment, participants were given a small electric shock—akin to a jolt of static electricity—that was so unpleasant that three-quarters of them said they’d be willing to pay not to experience the shock again. But when participants sat in the room alone with their thoughts, 67% of male participants and 25% of female ones were so eager to find something to do that they shocked themselves voluntarily. Did you catch that? A significant percentage of women and majority of men got so bored sitting quietly for 15 minutes that they chose to hurt themselves rather than just sit there. The researchers discovered, too, that this wasn’t just a young person issue. The results were the same when the researchers repeated the experiment with a broader age group sampled from a church and a farmer's market with participants as old as 77.

  A commonly used term today is ADHD. Could it be that ADHD is not so much psychological or physical but rather, technological? Let’s be honest, in an eye candy, supersaturated technological world, even our relaxation tends to be busy. Most have no idea how addicted we are. I know I don’t.

  We have nomophobia and aren’t even aware of it. That’s a term for “no-mobile-phone-phobia.” It’s when people feel anxious when they lose their cell phone, run out of battery, or have no network coverage. We’re so dependent on our phones, some 20% of us check our email in bed. Half of us take our phones to the beach. Symptoms of nomophobia include being unable to turn off your phone, obsessively checking it, constantly topping off the battery and even taking it to the bathroom. (Ok, it’s a little weird when someone is in a bathroom stall having a conversation on their phone.)

  This not only affects us relationally with each other, worse, it affects us relationally with our Heavenly Father. In Psalm 46:10 God says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Could it be that so many of us are stunted spiritually because we don’t have a clue what it means to “Be still, and know that I am God”? Could it be our Heavenly Father can hardly get a word in edgewise because we’re so preoccupied with all the racket, the temporal and trivial of this world? It’s not just that we don’t spend time in the Word, but even when we’re in the Word, our souls are off somewhere. Or, we’re ticking off the minutes until we’re done. We struggle with turning it all off. To have a healthy relationship with our Heavenly Father, to be effective in digging into the Word and prayer, we must. Spiritual intimacy and depth only come from times of soul quiet without distraction.

  Wouldn’t we be less anxious and experience more of God’s peace if we knew what it was to “Be still, and know that I am God”? What troubles you? Is it your circumstances? Finances tight? Are their marital or family issues? Maybe your conscience is pricking you? Or, you’re troubled by sin’s grip on your life? Do you lack trust in God? Love? Joy? Peace?

  Parents often ask children, “Are you listening to me? Are you paying attention?” Our Father is asking us the same thing. It’s usually not vile sin that keeps us from hearing His voice; it’s just the countless distractions.

  Technology has an on and off switch. Let’s choose to tune it out and turn it off so that we can carefully tune in to that still, small voice that makes an eternal difference in our lives (1 Kings 19:12). Solitude, quiet prayer and contemplation are vital for our spiritual health. The Lord promises us in the book of Isaiah, “in quietness and in trust shall be your strength” (30:15).

The Terrorist Within

“The only reason that you’re conscious right now is because I don’t want to carry you.” Jack Bauer

  What were you doing five years ago? Was it some life changing event? Something happen to you that you’ll never forget? Were you really hurt?

  Apparently, that was the case with Freddie Prinze Jr was. Last week, during a promotional interview for the Disney XD series, Star War Rebels, Prinze shared that he’d such a heinous time starring opposite Kiefer Sutherland in Season 8 of the hit series 24, he nearly quit show business. He “hated every moment” of filming the TV series. And what made all of this newsworthy is that it happened more than five years ago. Not five weeks or months, five years! This recent revelation is the first time any issue between the two actors has ever been made public. A spokesperson for the producers of 24 responded that “this is the first he has heard of Freddie’s grievances…Kiefer enjoyed working with Freddie and wishes him the best.” Apparently, Freddie Prinze Jr’s net worth of some $19 million is just not enough to help him recover from his feelings of being mistreated over five years ago.

  My friend, Bob Loggans, has a wonderful description of bitterness that he’d act out when he preached on bitterness. He’d start with something like a huge dirty clothes bag. As Bob talked about the high price of bitterness, he’d start putting big rocks in his bag. For every incident of bitterness he’s add another rock to his bag: bitterness toward your parents, throw a boulder in the bag. Bitterness toward a sibling, throw a boulder in the bag. Bitterness toward your spouse, throw a boulder in the bag. Bitterness toward your boss or a fellow employees, throw a boulder in the bag. Bitterness toward a neighbor, classmate, coach, etc., throw a boulder in the bag for each one.

  Then, Bob would point out that many people go through life with all of this extra baggage, just like trying to carry around a huge bag of rocks. They keep adding rock after rock of bitterness. Then, they wonder why life is dreary and they feel so worn out and weighed down. 

  Apparently, Freddie Prinze Jr is carrying around a big bag of rocks. This may surprise you. The ones I felt sorriest for with the revelation of his five year grudge were his wife, Sarah Michelle Gellar and their two children, Charlotte and Rocky. When someone is carrying a load of bitterness, usually their spouse finds that they’re the most frequent recipient of that unresolved emotional acid and their children are next on the hit list. Usually, small things set them off, like someone cutting them off in traffic or a forgotten minor detail. What’s worthy of a flyswatter response for someone with a healthy handle on their emotions, is an atomic meltdown from someone with internal lava dating back years or decades. And the volcano will blow at the most inopportune times over the smallest offenses.

  Those closest to the bitter person, usually seek to placate them and even take responsibility for the explosion. They tiptoe relationally around the person, attempting as much as they can not to set them off. It doesn’t work. Life cannot be controlled. It can’t be that sterile. Soon they find the lava spewing again. Frequently, the lava victim looks back, carefully analyzing what they possibly could have done different to avert the explosion. Nothing. When you’re dealing with a bitter person, it’s not a matter of “Will they explode?” It’s a question of “When?”

  Bitter individuals are usually lonely people. They may have lots of acquaintances, but few friends. Either they avoid getting close to others, for fear that who they really are will be discovered. Or, others avoid them, out of anxiety that they’ll inadvertently do something which will set them off. Subconsciously, even unbelievers are aware of the blunt reality of Proverbs 22:24-25, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.”

  Add to that, while the bitter person may not be cognizant of it, they’re frequently broken records. As they continually mentally feed on past toxic life events or perceived mistreatments, some real, others in their mind, the poisons consistently come up in dialogues as you spend time with them.

  Friends may foolishly suggest they do something proactive to resolve their bitterness. Yet, they’ll find the person is addicted to being bitter and seemingly seems to enjoy being miserable and making others miserable.

  Bitter individuals often struggle with depression, partially because they’ve become isolated. As they rehearse their wounds mentally, they sink deeper into self-pity. In this mental rehashing, they often exaggerate their wounds and the many good things that have happened in their life fade out, overshadowed by the acid.

  Please understand then that, All bitterness is ultimately against God. Since God is sovereign and in absolute control, then everything from our parents to our job to our government are allowed by God in our lives. God could have easily made it so that Freddie Prinze Jr. didn’t get the role or that Kiefer Sutherland was replaced. Though we don’t understand, even though the experience may have been painful, as believers, we can trust that our Heavenly Father never makes a mistake. “As for God, His way is perfect” (Psalms 18:30).

  To be free from bitterness toward others, we must be forgivers. We need to begin each day at the foot of the Cross, marveling at God’s amazing grace that sent His Son to bear the wrath that we deserved. God forgave us far more than we can ever forgive anyone else.

  Jesus graphically made this point in response to Peter’s question about forgiveness (Matt. 18:21-35). No one could have wronged us as much as we’ve wronged God. Since He freely forgave us, we must forgive others.

  Are you struggling with bitterness? Do you hold grudges and have difficulty forgiving others? Maybe it’s because you’ve never received God’s forgiveness through faith in Christ alone. That’s always the first place to start. If you have been forgiven, trust Him. Then, allow His grace and mercy to flow through you toward others.

  None of us have to be miserable. It’s a choice. Freedom from bitterness only comes as we trust God and forgive as we’ve been forgiven by Him.