So I skipped church...so what!?!

“On the most elementary level, you do not have to go to church to be a Christian. You do not have to go home to be married either. But in both cases if you do not, you will have a very poor relationship.” Kent Hughes

  When you feel that you need a random day off of work, what do you do? Do you schedule a vacation day or do you call in with some overblown cover story? How long does it take to come up with that excuse?

  One-in-four workers consider sick days equivalent to vacation time. No wonder workers are so crafty at calling in sick. CareerBuilder.com took a look at employees who call in sick with bogus excuses. 32% of workers admitted they called in sick when they felt well at least once over the course of the year. The most popular motivator for missing work: good, old-fashioned R & R. Nearly half said they needed to relax, while 24% wanted to catch up on sleep. Other top reasons included personal errands (20%), doctor's appointments (17%), plans with family and friends (16%) and housework (16%).

  While some employers said they typically don't question excuses given, others were more skeptical. Almost half of employers have caught an employee calling in sick with a fake excuse; 27% said they’ve fired a worker for calling in sick without a legitimate reason. 41% said they’ve received unusual or suspicious sick-day alibis.

  When asked to share the most unusual excuses workers gave for missing work, hiring managers revealed some of their favorite excuses/alibis: Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law. A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house. Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife. Employee called from his cell phone, saying that he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and that no one was around to let him out. Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk. Employee's wife said he couldn't come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house. One of the walls in the employee's home fell off the night before. Employee's mother was in jail. A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed all of his uniforms.  Employee had a bad case of hiccups. Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out. Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway. Employee was hit by a bus while walking. Employee's dog swallowed her bus pass. Employee was sad.

  As I read that, it reminded me of some of the excuses Christians give for skipping church. Two traits are generally true of healthy Christians: they’re regularly in the Word and they faithfully attend church. It’s always saddened me when I see Christians who seem to feel that skipping church is a vacation day from “work.”

  Imagine that Jane and I had a weekly date. How would she feel if she knew I looked for excuses to skip it? Or, if when we were together, I was continually fidgeting, looking at my watch, and as soon as I could, bolting out the door to go do something I considered more important or more enjoyable? How would she feel if she knew I saw our time together as something to endure, not enjoy and loved periodically escaping?

  But Jane and I, like most spouses, though we try not to, primarily have conditional or reciprocal love. Our love for each other flows both ways. Yet, Jesus love for us is unconditional…no strings, no demands and no pressure. He chose to love us, suffered brutally – worse than anyone can ever imagine – and not just physically. Jesus suffered the most spiritually in that for the first time in all eternity, He was separated from His Father when all of our sin and guilt was placed upon Him. He gave everything for us. How do you think that He feels when He knows we look at spending time with Him or with His people as an obligation, and something to escape whenever possible?

  Think of some of the rationalizations that we use to skip, “I’ve heard it all before.” How would Jane feel if I told her, “Jane, we don’t need to spend so much time together. I know you love me. I’ve heard it all before.” None of us have even come close to hearing it all before or arriving spiritually. Our spiritual life is something that either moves forward or backwards, up or down, grows or shrinks and dies. The only way for faith to increase, according to Romans 10:17, is “by hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” God has most frequently facilitated the planting, nourishing and strengthening of our faith through His Word being proclaimed when believers gather as a local church family.

  How about, “I’m really busy right now”? What would that say about my relationship with Jane if I was just too busy to spend time with her? If committing a couple of hours weekly to public worship and Bible Study on Sunday morning is too much that it just can’t be done, how does that reflect on my priorities as a Christian? Those things in our lives that take precedence in our schedules are the things we see as most important. Look at Christ’s life. Jesus was busier than any other person who’s ever lived, yet He made public worship a priority in His life.

  Probably, the one that is most dangerous is, “I know that I should but…” In other words, I don’t care enough. I think it would break Jane’s heart if she felt I didn’t care enough to spend time with her. It’s a frightening moment when a Christian stops caring about being with Jesus.   

  I have a friend who’s obsessed with a certain sport. He’ll take his family half way across the country to attend an event. Though a professing Christian, he rarely attends church. He makes certain though that his kids are always at these sporting events. (Please understand, it can be anything, a sport, hobby, work, sleep, music, entertaining friends, etc.) Sadly, I know how this usually ends. Someday it will break his heart when his then grown children have an even more casual attitude than he does toward the Lord, spiritual values and sin. There’s a strong possibility they’ll reject it all altogether. What seems so important now will be so valueless then.

  If Jesus loved the Church enough to die for her, then shouldn’t we love her enough to make the church a priority in our lives? The problem is really not our love for Christ’s Church. When being with the Church is unimportant, it’s most likely we’ve become like that group of believers in Ephesus – we’ve abandoned our first love (Revelation 2:4). Our lives will be in discord internally, externally and most of all spiritually, until we return to that first love for Jesus. When we do, we’ll love what He loves. Jesus loves His Church (Ephesians 5:25). If we love Jesus, we will love what He loves.

Feeling Fatherless on Father's Day?

“It is easier for a father to have children than for children

to have a real father.”

  Do you hate having to buy an obligatory gift? What about obligatory cards? For years, one of my most difficult tasks was buying the obligatory Father’s Day card. Most cards for most occasions, I can find with very little difficulty in just moments. Every year though I’d struggle to find an appropriate, (and honest), Father’s Day card. I couldn’t send one that said you’re the greatest Father in the world or that growing up was wonderful. It wasn’t true and my Dad knew that I didn’t believe that.

  My Dad and I never did connect. Sadly, we were never close. After I left home, I’d try to call him to see how he was doing. Five minutes was a long conversation. After I left home at fifteen, in that forty year period before he died, I don’t believe that he ever called me more than five times. I’d have to initiate the phone call if it was going to happen. He never saw the high school, college or seminary I graduated from. He didn’t attend my wedding and didn’t meet Jane until several months after we’d been married.

  There was just a gap that we never seemed to be able to overcome. I’m not sure why. When I was younger, he was everything that I didn’t want to be. But then, God began to work on my heart. Even though my Dad wasn’t all I wanted him to be. Even though we never really had a relationship, I began to see how God used him in my life and even his many admirable qualities.

  There’s an overlooked verse in Matthew, where Jesus acknowledges the limitations of fathers (really all parents), “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:11).

  You and I have no choice in our Dad or Mom. God not only chose where we were going to be born, He chose who we were going to be born to. We may not understand what God’s plan is BUT we know He has one and will use even what’s difficult or seems unfair for our good and His glory. Perhaps your experience is like mine. It may have been far worse. God though has taught me some valuable lessons even from a difficult father/child relationship. They’ve helped me. I hope that the Lord uses them to help you.

  Look at where they’ve come from, not just how far they need to go. I loved my grandfather (my Dad’s Dad). He was a wonderful man…to me. But he wasn’t to my Dad. When my Dad was growing up during the Depression, his father, though a hard worker, was the local drunk. On one occasion when he was intoxicated at church (of all places), he pulled a pistol on the sheriff who came to arrest him. He ended up doing time on the chain gang. He was mean, brutal and violent.

  When I was just a child, I remember visiting my Grandmother at her sister’s home, not her home where we normally went. My Grandfather was committing adultery and had moved this woman into their home. He was in his seventies when that happened. I doubt it was the first or only time. It would explain too why my Dad was so close and so protective of his mother, yet looked down with disdain on his father.

  Kids are brutal. My Dad would often mention how he’d been ridiculed as a child because they were so poor and his father was a drunk. My heart went out to him. I can’t imagine the shame that he dealt with as a child.

  Look for the good intent even behind bad behavior. With that background, my Dad didn’t know anything about marriage or parenting. Back then, a biblical worldview of marriage and family wasn’t talked about or taught…even in the Church. Because of the shame of his formative years, my Dad was obsessed with success. He wanted my four siblings and I to have it better than he’d had it, though he didn’t know how to really give us what we really needed. We had some of the best education that money could buy at the time. I attended some of the best schools in the Atlanta area and never went to a public school. My Dad felt that their education level didn’t meet the standards.

  We lived in a nice house in a nice neighborhood. Five bedrooms back then was a huge house. My Dad was a hard worker and a shrewd businessman. He saved enough money so that he could pay cash for it. He wanted to make sure we were taken care of and didn’t have to go without, as he had.

  Seek to use the traits that you inherited or learned for godliness. My Dad never met a stranger. When I was a youngster, he was so outgoing, he’d often embarrass me. He didn’t have a shy bone in his body. He was one of those individuals who could have sold icicles to Eskimos. I’m not naturally outgoing (that surprises many people), yet I learned from him how to build bridges with people I don’t know. He modeled how to have a conversation even with a complete stranger. By God’s grace, I hope and pray that I’ve used that for the Gospel.

  Thank God for the Dad and Mom that He gave you. One of my favorite passages is Genesis 50:19-20, where Joseph, after suffering horribly at the hands of his brothers, forgave them and said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.” What freedom! To know that every detail, even who my parents are, was planned by my loving Heavenly Father! And if I trust Him and submit to Him, He can even use the worst parents or family situation for His glory and my good.

  I truly have no regrets that my Dad was who he was or that I lost my mother in a car accident when I was ten. Do I miss her? Do I wish that my relationship with my Dad could have been different? Absolutely! Knowing though that my Heavenly Father who loves me beyond whatever I can ever fathom planned all of this changes my whole perspective. Rather than it being a source of regret or bitterness, it’s a sense of rest in God’s loving care…even when I don’t understand.

  My three children are now adults. I’m sure they wish that I’d done many things differently, and so do I. On my part, I need to take responsibility where I’ve sinned or blown it. Yet, I hope too that they’ll allow God to use my innumerable blunders in their lives for their good and His glory.

A really, really short graduation speech...

“So what are you gonna do, When the world don't orbit around you…

Ain't it fun, Living in the real world…Don't go crying to your mama

'Cause you're on you're own, in the real world.”  Paramore

  This time of year podiums across our land often have famous graduation speakers who share little more than cultural drivel. Much of it’s the stuff of myth, some are outright lies. Graduates are told: You can be anything you want to be, just dream and work hard. Follow your heart, the people that don’t like you don’t matter anyway. These are the best years of your life. Your life begins now…”

  I’ve only been asked to give one graduation speech, yet, if I were giving one today, I think I could sum it up in five words: “It’s time to grow up!” That’s a message that not only this year’s graduates need; it’s a message American culture needs. Tragically and ironically, it’s a message we need in the Church of Jesus Christ.

  Thomas Bergler of Huntington University observes what’s been called “the juvenilization of American Christianity.” He writes, “Juvenilization is the process by which the religious beliefs, practices, and developmental characteristics of adolescents become accepted as appropriate for adults. It’s adults embracing immature versions of the faith.” It’s really not a new phenomena, just seemingly a much more predominant one.

  2,000 years ago, it was to the church which thought that it was the wisest, most mature and sophisticated that the Apostle Paul wrote, “I…could not address you as spiritual people, but as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready” (1 Cor. 3:1-2). It’s the malady of big, baby Christians. Are you one? How do we spot a Christian desperately needing to grow up? One that’s stuck in childish spiritual behavior? 

  Christians stuck in childish behavior are self-absorbed. What’s the predominant trait of a toddler. They’re focused on “me, myself and mine.” It’s what makes me happy. It’s my way, my toy, my seat by the window. It’s my Mommy (even if there are multiple siblings). Sadly, narcissism is epidemic in the Church today. We’re infected with self-absorption rather than self-sacrifice. Often we believe spiritual maturity is synonymous with Bible knowledge or even just being a Christian a long time. It’s not. Spiritual maturity is evidenced by a Christ-like heart and lifestyle.

  Jesus made Himself a servant, though He was the Sovereign. The typical American Christian either goes to church or goes looking for church with one criteria: What’s in it for me? That’s often accompanied by, What’s in it for my family? It’s guised under questions like: Do they have programs for my children? (Interestingly, the Bible never once mentions youth or children’s programs). Do they sing my music? Do I feel comfortable there? Are they meeting my needs? Are they like my ideal picture of church? (Not necessarily a biblical one).

  I can’t recall anyone ever coming to me, and I don’t know of any pastor who’s ever had this experience, where a believer came to church and said something like, “I believe God is leading me here so I can serve Jesus as part of this church family.” Instead, pastors and church leaders are to serve them and meet their perceived needs. It’s an immature Christianity that needs to grow up.

  Christians stuck in childish behavior whine. Toddlers whine. (It’s why naptime was invented J). They want a cookie. Don’t want to go to bed. If  they don’t get what they want, they whine. Immature Christians do the same. “Thank you” is missing from their heart and vocabulary. They’re spiritually flawed because praise and gratitude are absent in their soul.

  Yet, not only do they whine, often they up it with harsh criticism. Services are too long. The church is too cold…too hot…people aren’t friendly enough…they’re too friendly. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

  Mature Christians are overwhelmingly grateful. They’re filled with gratitude because they realize a holy God not only has given them underserved mercy in withholding His judgment, He’s given them undeserved grace in making them part of His forever family with its inheritance and blessings.

  Are you a thankful believer? When was the last time you thanked our custodian for keeping our church clean? Or, those who make coffee for having it ready? Do you thank the worship team for their hours of preparation? How about a Sunday Morning Live teacher or youth leader?

  Christians stuck in childish behavior throw tantrums. All of us have felt empathy for the parent who’s tyke screams or throws themselves on the floor, kicking and hitting it with their tiny fists. While most Christians don’t throw themselves on the floor, I’ve seen some who came pretty close to that. Some actually scream. Most just complain, criticize and sow discord behind the scenes. They often don’t realize little ears are listening and are later shocked when their now adult children want little to do with church. The church was ripped down in front of them though during their formative years, and they remember. The bill has come due.

  Mature Christians problem-solve. They realize they themselves probably need to grow and potentially so do their other family members in Christ. Yet, if there’s never a humble dialogue and attempt to problem-solve, spiritual growth is stunted.

  Christians stuck in childish behavior tend to be passive/aggressive. Usually, when they’re ticked off about something at church, they first stop giving. They miss that if they were giving to the “church,” they’re ignorant of biblical giving. We give as an act of worship to Christ, not a church. Then, they start pulling back on involvement and become sporadic in their attendance. Like a divorcee who fails to solve the core issue, they frequently will repeat the same cycle in their next church and the one after that and the one after that.

  Our Heavenly Father is looking for men and women of faith, not tykes. That’s because we have been given an adult mission, the greatest responsibility, sharing the Gospel. It’s the only hope our world has. It’s what Jesus the One who gave His life for us commands us to do (Matt. 28:19-20). And that’s the worst problem with a baby Christian, they don’t  share and don’t even care. “It’s time to grow up!”

  Friend, please look in the mirror of God’s Word (James 1:23-25). Let it spur you on to spiritual maturity, to grow up in your faith. Jesus needs adults, mature in the faith to fulfill the mission. Can He count on you?

Hello Type A's: It's enjoy, not endure!

“If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it.”  Herodotus

During his induction ceremony into the Baseball Hall of Fame, Harmon Killebrew recounted how one day he and his brother were playing in the yard, and their mother got upset. “You’re tearing up the grass!” she complained. Harmon’s dad wisely replied, “We’re not raising grass; we’re raising boys.”

  If you’re a Type A, you may not want to read this. If you’re someone who tries to force 30 hours into 24 hours, this might even irritate you. But in case you didn’t notice, summer is finally here. Yes, I know it officially begins on June 21^st, but in Wisconsin, any day above 60 is summer as far as I’m concerned.

  Life can be a blur. For some reason, summer seems to move faster than the speed of light. Before you can catch your breath, they’re selling school supplies and kids are heading back to class.

  At the end of 1 Timothy 6:17, there’s a short yet powerful phrase, one that most of us need to memorize, meditate on and probably place in high visibility areas: “God Who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.”

  Did you catch that word? ENJOY! Enjoy means “to take pleasure in something; to have or experience something good or helpful; to have a good time; to have for one’s use, benefit, or lot.”  The sad and sinful fact is that most are more well versed in what we don’t enjoy, rather than what we do enjoy. We’re so busy complaining (or, just thinking) about what’s wrong, we fail to take the time to salivate on what’s right and all of God’s blessing that He “richly provides us with.” Our Heavenly Father wants us to enjoy life, not endure it. Some of you don’t have a clue how to do that. So let me share two key words: slow and stop.

  If you’re going to enjoy these next three months, you must slow down. Summer is like a prime cut of steak. You don’t wolf it down. You cut small pieces, chew it slowly and savor it. Summer is like a double-dip of ice cream on a waffle cone. You let it melt in your mouth, enjoying the sweet creamy taste until that very last lick.

  If you’re still in the child rearing years, lower your sights a little. You’re not Martha Stewart; Better Homes and Gardens is not plastering your yard on its next issue. Raising kids is messy, but some day you’ll miss that bicycle in the middle of the driveway. Someday the house will be silent. No screams of joy or laughter or running feet. Enjoy it today because it’s gone tomorrow. So be creative with the “mess.” Turn a sibling squabble into a water fight. Buy a few squirt guns and water balloons.

  Instead of sitting around the TV or hovering over your computer or phone, go for a walk. When was the last time you went on a picnic? Have each family member make their own sandwich, or pick up a bucket of chicken. Go walk on the beach and make a sandcastle. Throw a Frisbee or a ball until your arm nearly falls off. Share jokes or family stories. Catch lightning bugs in a jar. Sit around a bonfire and make smores.

  If you’re going on vacation, schedule it now. Not just the dates, but what you’re going to do. Where are you going to go? Have a family meeting to discuss it. That way you can enjoy the anticipation. Put a little in for everyone. And please don’t over schedule. It’s a vacation, not an expedition. Take your watch off and turn off your phone. Before you go, check out and then visit a good church. If you’re going to be in an urban area, check out a Bible-believing church from another ethnic group.

  This summer if you love yard work, do it. Plant something new so you can try out a new fruit or vegetable. But if you hate yard work, pay a neighborhood kid to do it. He could use the money and needs to learn how to work for someone else. Use it as a teaching moment. Just please get outside as much as you can. Remember last winter when you ran from the car to the house as fast as you could. It was a long winter. So now, if you can, walk to the store. If there ever was a summer when we need to enjoy the sun, this is that summer.

  Set aside a day off here and there to go to the zoo or ballpark…or just to explore a nearby town you’ve never visited before. Find a botanical garden and stop to literally smell the flowers. Spend the day at the beach. Catch a few Brewers games. If you can’t afford a major league game, go to a minor league one. But get your calendar out right now and plan it. Otherwise, remember how last summer slipped by?

  Start a new habit of either bike riding a couple of miles before or after work, running or walking. If you’ve never been an outdoors person, you’re missing out. Creation is a gift of our Creator God. Appreciate it and enjoy it. You’ll be amazed what it will do for your spirits. And don’t forget to enjoy the moonlit and starry nights.

  Then, go on a diet – a technology one. Put yourself on a computer, email, or smart phone diet. Limit how much you’re chained to the artificial world of technology. Unless you’re expecting a call from the President, leave your phone at home, or at least in the car.

  Schedule some cookouts. Grill something you’ve never grilled before. Summer is also about the only time some of us can spend much time with our neighbors. What a great opportunity to build for the Gospel. So invite a few neighbors over. Get together with church friends. It’s amazing the opportunities that present themselves at outdoor gatherings.

  Plan out some summer reading. Read aloud to the kids. They don’t have to be in bed at a certain time to be ready for school. Read a book you’ve always wanted to read. Pick a few to enjoy this summer. If you normally read fiction, read a biography. If you normally read nonfiction, read fiction. Make family dinner time a priority. Hang around the table and just talk.

  The bottom line is to savor this summer. Choose to make it a time of refreshment and rejuvenation for you and your family…because soon it’ll be gone.