Some things are worth dying for

 “If you don't stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”   

Steve Bartkowski

  There’s just something thrilling about athletic competition, particularly international athletic competition, that can bring out the best in us. I’ve been watching the tally for our medals compared to other countries that are participating. Don’t you feel a sense of pride when we win? I often find myself getting choked up when I hear, “USA, USA, USA,” see our the stars and stripes raised and hear our national anthem when one of our athletes or teams wins the coveted gold medal.

  As I was reflecting on this year’s Winter Olympics, I remembered a blockbuster movie from some years back about the 1924 Olympics, Chariots of Fire. If you’ve never seen it, please rent it. It’s the true story of Christian athlete and hero, Scottish runner, Eric Liddell. It would be a great movie to watch and then discuss with your children.

  The 1924 Summer Olympics were hosted by the city of Paris. A devout Christian and a man of deep conviction, Eric Liddell refused to run in a heat held on Sunday (what to him was “the Christian Sabbath”), thus he was forced to withdraw from the 100-meters race, his best event. The schedule had been published several months earlier, and his decision was made well before the Games. He wouldn’t run even if he were his country's only hope of winning an Olympic gold medal. Sunday was a day of worship and rest for Eric. Even back then, many political leaders and his own countrymen were very angry with him. The press wrote horrible things about him. Some even called him a traitor. In spite of the tremendous pressure, Eric held to his convictions. He’d never run on Sunday and never would, not even for a gold medal. He then spent the intervening months training for the 400 meters, though his best pre-Olympics time for that event was modest by international standards, and he knew his chance of winning that race were very slim. Two of other the runners in this race had set world record times. In addition, on the day of the race, Eric was assigned the worst lane. But a note in his pocket encouraged him. The team trainer gave it to him before he left his hotel room. It was a quotation from 1 Samuel 2:30: "Those who honor me I will honor.” Eric knew his decision not to run on Sunday honored God. Inspired by this fellow Christian’s encouragement, he ran as he’d never run before. He broke the existing Olympic and world records with a time of 47.6 seconds, winning the gold medal.

  Eric had been born in China to missionary parents. After the Olympics, though it was very dangerous, he returned to China as a missionary. The Japanese had invaded China and ultimately he was taken prisoner and incarcerated in a horribly overcrowded prison camp. Even there, he was faithful to God, setting up worship services, schooling for children, sporting activities, and taking care of the sick. He became the most respected person in the camp because of his joyful attitude. Yet, after being imprisoned for nearly two years, he became very ill and at just 43 years of age, he died.

  Christian heroes are always men and women of conviction. Convictions are not determined the heat of the moment, convictions are cultivated and nurtured long before they’re ever tested. It was conviction that enabled Joseph to run when Potiphar’s wife attempted to seduce him. It was conviction that led Moses’ mother to hide him when Pharaoh had ordered the execution of all male infants. It was conviction that helped Joshua and Caleb stand up to the entire nation, believing God would give them the Promised Land. It was conviction that enabled Daniel to open his windows and pray as he always had, even though he was an old man and knew he’d be thrown into the lions den. The phrase “your goose is cooked” was first coined from the martyrdom of the Christian reformer John Hus, who’s  German name sounded like “goose.” He chose to be burned at the stake rather than deny his Lord. It was because of her conviction that 17 year-old, Cassie Bernall was executed at Columbine. When one of the gunmen, Dylan Klebold, asked her whether she believed in God, she said “Yes” and was immediately shot and killed.

  Yet, God does not ask Christians of conviction to just die for Him. What our world most needs, what our Lord most desires, is Christians of conviction who will live for Him. Those convictions are first forged by spending time in the Word and in prayer. Those convictions are forged in a local family of believers in worship and discipleship. Those convictions are forged by faithful service to the Lord before the heat is not on.

  Conviction is seen when a believer is committed to purity and holiness in an anything goes world. Conviction is seen when a believer is committed to joy, gratitude and peacefulness in an unhappy, ungrateful, cantankerous culture. Conviction is seen when a believer is committed to being an encourager rather than a gossip and talebearer. Conviction is seen when a believer is committed to doing what is right and ethical, even when it costs position, a potential promotion, popularity and financial compensation.  Conviction is seen when a believer stands up to his or her own friends or family rather than going along to get along. But sadly, you won’t meet many individuals of conviction, even among Christians. Conviction isn’t popular and it’s costly, it can even cost you your very life. But in the courts of heaven where it ultimately matters, conviction counts for all eternity.

  Are you a Christian with convictions? Are you modeling that and teaching convictions to your children? Are you a person who knows and clings to biblical values? Are you willing to suffer for doing what is right?  

  When the new of Eric Liddell’s tragic death reached Scotland, the whole country mourned but Heaven rejoiced. I often find that when a Christian of conviction dies, even lost people mourn. They know that they have witnessed something unusual. Are you unusual? Are you a person of biblical convictions?

Even the world is NEVER enough

“The world says: ‘You have needs -- satisfy them. You have as much right as the rich and the mighty. Don't hesitate to satisfy your needs; indeed, expand your needs and demand more.’ This is the worldly doctrine of today. And they believe that this is freedom. The result for the rich is isolation and suicide, for the poor, envy and murder.” Fyodor Dostoyevsky

  So when is “enough” really enough? Less than a year ago, I did a funeral for an 18 year old who’d overdosed on heroin. While it was a tragic death, most were shocked because of her age, but not shocked because she had so much to lose and was leaving it all behind. Over the years, I’ve done funerals for several suicide victims. Again, most are shocked by the tragedy yet not because the individual took their own life. Some were seeking to escape consequences of bad choices they’d made. Others had recently broken up with someone or were unemployed. In other words, from the world’s perspective, they were at the bottom and they didn’t particularly have anything to live for.

  But is there any real difference though between them and Oscar-winning actor, Philip Seymour Hoffman? Seemingly, Hoffman had it all – all that we’re continually told has value and meaning. His net worth is estimated to be $30 million yet he died from an apparent heroin overdose. And he’s not some fluke. To learn of a “star” who’s not addicted to alcohol or drugs seems like it’s the exception. We’re not shocked when we learn some powerful politician wasn’t satisfied with the position or power, and had to have more, so they took kickbacks or had sexual liaisons. The same is true in sports. The recent revelations about Ryan Braun or Alex Rodriguez were sad, yet sadly, not shocking. Enough is never enough.

  It’s easy to conclude that it’s just the rich and famous, but is it? How many content, joy-filled people do you know? How many Christians do you know who are content and joy-filled? That begs the question: Is the Bible really true? Can we really trust Jesus? After all Jesus said, “My grace is sufficient for you” (2 Corinthians 12:9). But is it? Do we believe that?

  While most of us aren’t foolish enough to believe joy, contentment and meaning are found in a needle, we do erroneously believe that if we just have _________, then we’ll be satisfied. But we won’t!

  Why are the statistics for divorce among Christians nearly as high as those who don’t know the Lord? It’s the erroneous belief that if I was just out of this marriage or had someone who really loved me, then I’d have  joy, contentment and meaning. How many Christians think if they just had more money, a better job, a nicer house, better kids, a newer car, better health, etc., etc., etc…then they’d be satisfied. But joy, contentment and meaning are not circumstancial. Some of the most miserable people you’ll ever meet live in Florida. Yet, I meet believers all the time who think that if they just go on that dream vacation or fantastic getaway, then they’ll have joy, contentment and meaning…at least temporarily. Ironically, many of them go and are miserable in the midst of Paradise. Or, they’re addicted to pleasure, relaxation and recreation much like Philip Seymour Hoffman was to heroin. They need another “fix” to have joy, contentment and meaning. This may shock you but God did not design us to live for the weekend. Or, to find joy, contentment and meaning temporarily only when we’re vacationing in some exotic place…or, in some new relationship or a new house or with that new whatever. Most of us are as foolish as Adam and Eve who believed Satan’s lie that there had to be something more than God and what He’d already provided. Satan’s lie hasn’t changed.

  Let me encourage you to list out everything, and yes, I mean everything that you feel makes you unhappy. Don’t leave an option out. Think of everything you’ve bemoaned over the course of the past week that you wish you had or didn’t have. For many, a day might be enough.

  So if you had all those things, if ALL of them were “fixed” would you have joy, contentment and meaning? No, not unless you first had a right relationship with Jesus Christ. Augustine was right, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”

  True power is not found in having our external circumstances changed. True power is having joy, contentment and meaning in the midst of whatever our circumstances are. Most of us live under the circumstances. True power is found when we really believe and plug into Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” That’s why Paul could write, “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” 

  Remember those famous words from Albert Einstein, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Too many of us are “insane.” We think if I just live there, go there, have that, or even that person – then I’ll have joy, contentment and meaning. It’s trying to find a “fix” in something, anything. When the only “fix” that will truly satisfy is found in Jesus Christ. Most people are shaking their heads at the tragedy of Philip Seymour Hoffman, yet most of them are just as foolish. Though they’re not looking for satisfaction in a vial of heroin, they’re seeking to find it in something else. And when it doesn’t work, they usually just up the dose.

  Are you satisfied? Is your life filled with joy and contentment? My friend, Jesus is the only person who can satisfy your soul. Stop looking for your “fix” somewhere else and come to Jesus. His promise is true, “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Will you do that? 

Walking with someone through the Valley of the Shadow of Death

 

“Man, when he does not grieve, hardly exists.”  Antonio Porchia

  The average American experiences a personal loss of someone in their immediate family only every 15 to 20 years. Think back on anything else that you experienced just once in a fifteen years period. Now add trauma, hurt, shock, pain, tears…a level of grief nearly beyond words. Anyone who thinks they’re ready for the pain of loss is deluded. The waves of various emotions that transpire in one's own heart are nearly impossible to voice.  

  Yet, for some reason, particularly when it comes to grief, Americans have often bought into a “just get over it” or “let the healing begin” mentality. Perhaps it's because we have a pill or program for nearly everything. When it comes to grief, there is no magic pill or transforming program. Grief is like major surgery. The best healer is time and it usually takes lots of it. With a healthy approach to grief, pain lessens over time but I don't think it's ever quite gone. And would we really want it to be? I lost my Mom over forty years ago and I still miss her. I'm not depressed about it, but I miss her and so look forward to seeing her again. Perhaps, that's one reason the Bible tells us that in heaven, God will wipe away all of our tears.

  Yet, it seems today that there are complications previous generations didn't typically have to deal with. Because of the fragmentation and frequently, the disintegration of the family, at least of a traditional family with a Dad and Mom married to the same partner for life. Add to that, there are often siblings or even half-siblings who the parents have sometimes sought and sometimes not, to cobble together into some sense of a "family." Prior to the loss, there’s often anger, hurt, bitterness and other unresolved issues. Add in substance abuse, cohabitation…a divorce or two and it's a potential recipe for an unmitigated disaster.

  So how is a Christian to be a Christian in the midst of the changing morass of complicated family relationships, yet also dealing with the tragedy of loss and grief? I don't believe that there are black and white answers, nor do I feel like I am an expert. Yet, I believe there are some valuable and general principles to help each of us be Jesus in a hurting world and act Christ-like as we navigate these unchartered waters.

  First, just go. Sometimes that's impossible. Yet, if at all possible, go to the visitation, go to the funeral. Just your presence will have a healing effect. It may be a fog for the ones most hurting, yet they will often remember you came. Our culture moves at a frenetic pace but you can’t touch someone who’s hurting in a hurry. There may be jagged feelings. Perhaps, you’re not only dealing with your own sense of loss, you find that you feel tense…even a pit in your stomach at the thought of interacting where has been personal pain or unresolved issues. Still go. There’s something about loss though that heals old wounds and draws us together.

  Fewer words are usually better. Just because you’re there, doesn’t mean that you have to say "just the right thing." Some of us can't handle silence. It makes us uncomfortable, yet, it's usually better to say less than more in times of grief. What the one most hurting needs is your presence. Just the fact you are there and that you care speaks volumes.

  Be proactive. Grief shocks us. We find we’re unable to think, concentrate, even function. Those who are normally competent and problem-solvers may feel paralyzed. This can be a time to offer to help with the basics, simple things like washing dishes, making a meal, or picking up groceries.

  I've found being a channel of communication is always appreciated. The one who’s feeling the greatest sense of loss often has difficulty making those dreaded yet necessary phone calls. They find they have little control over their emotions and each repetition of the loss can feel like they’re going through heart surgery again and again. It's better too if someone learns of the death of a friend or loved one more than once, rather than assuming they must surely know. It's amazing that with our countless means of communication there are so many glitches in our communication.

  If you know someone is close, personal communication is best, not e-mail or Facebook. Tragic news needs to shared tenderly, clearly and carefully. It's also unwise to conjecture or hypothesize. Stick with what you know are facts. If you’re on the receiving end, be careful about asking unnecessary questions. With the recent loss of my brother, someone who was at best a distant friend, asked very pointedly, "How did he die?" What did it matter?

  Add to that, there’s often a sense of false guilt. It may be with a loss like my brother's, something to the effect, "He said he wasn't feeling good, I should have insisted that he go to the doctor." But my brother was nearly seventy and was fully capable of either taking himself to the doctor or insisting that someone take him.

  Be a peace-maker. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peace-makers” (Matt. 5:9). If there are broken relationships you’re aware of, seek to be a bridge builder. Remember and help others to remember the good. Seek to carefully bring people together. The person is gone. Most hurts and unresolved issues need to go with them. It's a time to remember the good and best, not drag up the worst.

  Finally, be prepared yourself. Sudden, tragic death is a reality. Would your loved ones know your wishes? If unsaved family members will be making your final arrangements, be very clear. Your funeral will be your last opportunity to share the Gospel. Do they know where important papers are? Is your life insurance, will, etc. up to date? The recent loss of my brother was a warning for Jane and I that we need to take care of a few important items.

  If you have a terminal illness, don't wait until you’re too weak or medicated to have those important conversations and make important decisions. Solve potential issues of conflict while you’re alive, rather than leaving your loved ones to guess or worse, squabble when you’re gone. If there’s tension between your loved ones now, it will only devolve when you’re no longer around to umpire. So please make those important decisions now so there aren’t potential landmines later.  

  The Bible continually warns us to be prepared for inevitable death. Are you? Is there someone you can reach out to that is going through these stages of grief? Let's be Jesus to each other.