A Christ-follower with a limp: May 2023

Sunday, May 28, 2023

The Compounding of Grief

“There is no downside for me leaving.

A little over a week ago, on May 19^th, pastor and author, Tim Keller died after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. The Church around the world mourned. I know that I did. What a testimony some of his last words were: “There is no downside for me leaving. Not in the slightest.”
Keller wasn’t just a pastor, he was also a gifted theologian and author. He had a burden for the city and the lostness of our great urban communities. He was the founding pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian in New York City and the author of several bestselling books. His books always stretched me. I particularly loved his book on marriage and his deep love for his wife, Kathy, along with his transparency about his own marital weaknesses.
A little over a week ago in our own community a 16-year-old boy bypassed the emergency warning system at a railroad crossing and was struck by an oncoming train. It was heartbreaking. As I was called to the scene as the police chaplain, I felt totally inadequate. In the face of such a horrific tragedy, there are no words.
Unless you understand how compound interest works, you’ll be puzzled by grief. When it comes to financial wealth. There are at least two ways to grow wealthy. You could have an inheritance or a lump sum dropped on you. You're poor one day, and have millions in the bank the next day. You’re rich! Or you learn to take advantage of compound interest. For instance, you put $1,000 in the bank when you're a teenager, then you deposit $100 every week for a few decades. By the time you’re fifty, even though there hasn’t been any huge sum dropped, the interest of those small consistent deposits has made you rich in wealth.
Grief works in a similar way. You might lose a loved one (a huge lump sum payment). Or you grow up in a broken family with chronic bickering. Maybe there is a divorce. Maybe a parent is an addict. You never feel safe. Those small traumatic deposits of hurt are so regular that by the time you’re middle-aged, you find yourself very rich in grief. Grief’s buildup isn’t about lump sum payments of catastrophe as much as it is small painful deposits that are consistent as sundown.
In 1991 Gerald Sittser, his wife, Lydia, and their children were driving through Iowa when a drunk driver hit them at 85 mph. Gerald lost his mother, his wife, and a four-year-old child in an instant. He sat beside an isolated highway and watched them die. Eventually, he authored a book entitled A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss:
“Catastrophic loss by definition precludes recovery. It will transform us or destroy us, but it will never leave us the same…It is not true that we become less through our loss – unless we allow the loss to make us less, grinding our soul down until there is nothing left. Loss can also make us more. I did not get over my loved ones; rather, I absorbed the loss into my life until it became part of who I am. Sorrow took up permanent residence in my soul and enlarged it…One learns the pain of others by suffering one’s own pain, by turning inside oneself, by finding one’s own soul…The soul is elastic, like a balloon. It can grow larger through suffering.
Life is characterized by loss. If you’ve not yet faced a significant loss, you will. It usually starts with a grandparent or an elderly relative. Eventually, it will be a spouse. It could be your child.
For the believer, the losses that threaten to overwhelm can enlarge us, deepen us, offer us something unforeseen. Unexpected blessings can follow loss. Hope follows grief. Character follows the furnace in which character was forged. Our Heavenly Father is in control and has blessings for us even in loss. We do not grieve “as others who have no hope” (1 Thess. 4:13).
These are not wasted times for the child of God. It’s like a compost pile. As we throw scraps on the pile, we see the broken husks of things that were once full of life but are now empty shells. It seems as if their story is over. But give it time – from that which was dead will spring new life.
God is able to salvage the broken parts of this world and our lives. Romans 8:28 promises, “All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” It’s the story of the Bible. God uses these painful situations so that we’ll be “conformed to the image of His Son.” How can grief conform us to the likeness of Christ?
Compassion. It’s called redemptive pain. It’s the highest and best use of your pain. “[God] comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT).
Maturity. It makes us very cognizant of the fragility and temporariness of this life. It opens our eyes to realize that this world is not our Home, people matter more than things, time is precious and that the truly good things in life are not found in money, or health, or entertainment, or fame.
Mystery. The Bible never explains why God allows us loss in a particular instance. There are broader principles: free will, a sin-filled world, God’s glory, and our spiritual growth. But our specific pain may not be known until after the fact, maybe not until we’re finally Home and can see reality clearly. Yet we do know that if you trust Christ for your salvation, you’ll spend eternity in heaven with God. It’s that hope that sustains you even through the valley of the shadow of death and terrible loss.
Community. Loss is one of the greatest opportunities for the church to be the church. Suffering enables us to more fully “bear another’s burdens, and so fulfill the Law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). As we pass on the comfort of God, we in turn are comforted. We gain an appreciation for the community of the broken, journeying together toward a resurrection. We recognize the importance of the moment. We take risks we might not have taken because we know life is a vapor. Some things must be done now or they might not be done at all. We reach out and look up more than ever.
Heaven. God comforts us with His promise of a place with no more pain and no more tears. Heaven will be a reunion beyond anything experienced in this world. No wonder Paul writes, “Do not lose heart for our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding glory that outweighs them all…” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).
Believers never say, “goodbye.” We say, “Good night…I’ll see you in the morning” and what a glorious morning that will be!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.

Sunday, May 21, 2023

Stop and Smell God's Creation

“I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.” George Washington Carver

  An atheist was walking through the woods, admiring all the “accidents” that evolution had created. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging toward him. He ran away as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw the grizzly was closing in. Somehow he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again, and the big bear was even closer. His heart was pounding, and he tried to run faster. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him.
  At that instant, the atheist cried, “Oh God help!” Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.
  As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, “You’ve denied My existence for all these years, taught others that I don't exist, and even credited creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect Me to help you out of this predicament now? Am I to count you as a believer?”
  The atheist looked directly into the light and said, “I would feel like a hypocrite to become a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?”
  “Very well,” said the Voice.
  The light went out. The river ran. The sounds of the forest resumed. Then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed its head, and spoke: “Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful.”
  Though I’m a Creationist, I have to confess that that atheist is a better person than I am. He was thankful for the glories of nature though he gave credit to the wrong “creator.” Too often I can fly through life and be oblivious to the blessings of God’s wonderful creation all around me.
  I love this time of year with the blooming flowers and their overwhelming fragrance. Our backyard is awash with the blooms of our apple trees. All of the trees have filled out again with their canopies of green. The birds have returned and we wake up to hear them serenading us. At night you have to be cautious about deer, raccoons, and possums. Spring is glorious!
  With the warm weather, Jane and I look forward to walks around the neighborhood and enjoying the beauty of our neighbors’ flowers and gardens. I have a bench in front of our home where I’ll sit and read. It’s an opportunity to connect with neighbors. I love watching folk go by with their families or walking their dogs or children streaking by on their bikes.
  Wisconsin has some of the most beautiful sunsets that I’ve ever seen and what can compete after a thunderstorm with our rainbows. The glories of God’s creation bring us out to look in awe at what He has done!
  At night I love listening to crickets and frogs. Every now and then, you’ll hear an owl hooting. As a child, I remember listening to the Whippoorwills. There’s something breathtaking about a large moon or a star-filled sky.
  This summer Jane and I are looking forward to long walks on the beach. We’ll look for unusual shells, crabs skittering away, or fish leaping out of the water. Jane loves to find those unique nature trails to some waterfall or rock formation that you can only see when you hike back to it. We’ll watch some glorious sunsets on the ocean.
  To enjoy God’s creation takes time. With our accomplishment-focused culture, we cram too much into what should be downtime. It’s easy to forget that even in a family or couples getaway, the emphasis is on the individuals, not the destination or activities. It’s the ones we’re traveling with not where we’re traveling or what we will do that’s important.
  That child or grandchild will never be the same age and have the same interests and focus in 2024 as they have in 2023. Your spouse, even though we adults seem static, won’t be the same in 2024 as they are in 2023.
  There’s one requirement if you’re going to “stop and smell the roses.” You must stop! You must slow down. It means taking time.
  Our time-oriented world values speed not substance. It deceives us into believing accomplishments or destinations are more important than relationships. Most of the world is in a hurry, always rushing; yet very few even know where they’re going or why they’re going there. They rush to yet another event that often has no real meaning for them, or perhaps that they really don’t even want to attend. It’s just another obligation.
  Or we let technology steal from us the wonder of God’s creation or depth in our relationships. Our TVs, computers, and smartphones steal from us what truly matters. We’re often focused miles away yet oblivious to those in the same room. There’s no conversation or dialogue. There’s only watching often what is little more than inane dribble on a screen.
  We must commit to slowing down, living in a slower rhythm, God’s rhythm, not this world’s pace. The Lord Jesus was never in a hurry when He walked this earth and God is absolutely not in a hurry now. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” We must learn to let each thing in our lives have its season and realize we can enjoy that season without barging into the next one.
  Our frenetic pace robs us of quality lives and relationships. We’re moving so fast that we miss the grand masterpieces of God’s creation! So please take the time to enjoy life. Strengthen relationships with those you love. Trust God to give you the grace, energy, and time to do everything you actually need to do at a pace that allows you to enjoy the journey.

Sunday, May 14, 2023

Mom, please don't be Jane Fonda

“I can’t think of a better way to use my abilities than in service to my children.” Lynda Sittser

She’s a former fashion model, one of America’s most famous actresses, and part of a Hollywood Dynasty. She’s been in some 54 movies and is the recipient of two Academy Awards, two British Academy Film Awards, seven Golden Globe Awards, a Primetime Emmy away, the AFI Life Achievement Award, and the Cecil B. DeMille Award. Her first exercise video was the highest-selling of all time. She’s worth over $200,000,000.00. From our culture’s perspective, she is the epitome of success. Yet, in an interview earlier this year with Chris Wallace, Jane Fonda shared that the biggest regret in her life was not knowing how to be a better parent. “I was not the kind of mother that I wish that I had been to my children.”
You have to appreciate her vulnerability and candor. The mothers who should frighten us are the ones who think they’ve arrived and have it all together. Any honest Mom and really every parent would acknowledge that they’ve made a lot of mistakes. How could they not – there are no perfect mothers and there has only been one perfect child – Jesus. Even His Mom made some big blunders.
So on this year’s Mother’s Day, let me share some advice on how to potentially cut down on some of those regrets for the future. (This goes for Dad too and grandparents). Keep the main thing the main thing. In other words, you can’t have it all, so focus on what’s truly important.
Periodically, I’ll hear someone bemoan that they think they have ADHD. Though there are some who are diagnosed with ADHD and we don’t want to disparage that. Yet, stop and observe the world around you and I think you’ll find that we essentially have an ADHD culture.
Most of us carry what is essentially a toddler having a tantrum. They’re in our pockets and purses. Smartphones can make us stupid. Those rings, chirps, and vibrations can distract us from what’s truly important.
In 2015, Brandie Johnson, a mother of young twin boys decided to conduct a little experiment: She took an hour one morning to unplug and simply watch her boys play. She also decided to keep score. When her boys looked over to see if she was watching them, she’d make a mark on a piece of paper. She ended up with 28 marks. She wrote:
“As I sat quietly in the corner of the room I tallied how many times they looked at me for various reasons: to see if I saw their cool tricks, to seek approval or disapproval for what they were doing, and to watch my reactions. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was on some sort of technology what message would I have been sending? 28 times my angels would have wondered if the World Wide Web was more important than them.” Brandie that it was more important to be there for her boys than to be connected somewhere else.
While work is important, relationships are more important. Most Moms are in the workplace today. There’s increasing pressure to move up the ladder and/or work longer hours. Few employers value the bottom line of your family. Then, in our consumer-driven culture, it’s tempting to overextend ourselves so our children don’t have to “do without.”
Because it’s so much a part of our world, we fail to stop and ask “Do without what?” Toys, gadgets, bigger and better vacations? Larger houses and better cars? We feel the squeeze. As believers, as those who know all of this world is temporary, periodically we need to stop and evaluate what we’re investing in, how we’re spending our time, and what we’re living for?
Jesus asked, “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” (Mark 8:36). If we have all the “stuff,” this world says is important and only provide for our children the temporal, but fail to direct them to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and living for the eternal and what truly matters, what have we accomplished?
You can’t have it all. Each of us must choose and the earlier we choose the better. If you wait until the teen years to begin investing eternal truth and values in your child’s heart, it may be too late.
It’s not easy though. The cultural peer pressure is relentless. Frequently, Christian parents are concerned about the ideology and worldview being taught in their child’s school, yet missing the values and worldview they’re teaching by example in their own lives and focus. They’re pressured by parental peers to have their child involved in nearly everything…because that’s what good parents do. Yet what your child needs is not another activity, they need YOU – time with you, learning from you, and talking to you. They need to know your Lord and Savior. Very few voices are going to share eternal values with them. No one is as vested as you are in their spiritual future. You are the best hope that they have of knowing and living for what has true significance.
A prime quality every mother and parent needs is a sincere faith (2 Timothy 1:5). The word “sincere” means, literally, “not hypocritical.” Phony faith is a mask put on in front of church members or out in public but set aside in the home. The parents may be fighting as they drive to church, but when they drive in the parking lot, they act as if everything is just wonderful. Kids smell that kind of phoniness a mile away.
G. Campbell Morgan was a gifted preacher of another generation. He had four sons who all became preachers. Someone once asked when all of the family was there, “Who is the greatest preacher in your family?” Though there was great admiration for their preacher-Dad, the answer without a moment’s hesitation was: “Mother.”
Jane Fonda may have blown it but she got one thing right – she owned it. Every mom, every parent will look back with some regret. The only perfect parent is God the Father. Yet, let’s seek to limit regret by being focused on Him, depending on His grace, and prioritizing what has eternal significance. When we fail, confess it (1 John 1:9) and ask for God’s grace both in your life and in the life of your children.

Sunday, May 7, 2023

When Talk Show Host Jerry Springer Talked about Hell

“True belief in both heaven and hell radically changes the way we live on earth. We are encouraged by the hope of heaven, and we are compelled by the horror of hell.

We know that this world is not all that exists.” David Platt

Hardly anyone talks about Hell anymore unless it’s used as a swear word or in a joke. So it caught my attention when it was reported that in one of his last interviews four months before he died, famed talk show host, Jerry Springer, said, “I just hope hell isn't that hot because I burn real easy.”
Though it sounds a bit tongue in cheek, apparently Springer was worried about final accountability. In that same interview with “Behind the Velvet Rope,” Springer was asked if he considered himself the “granddad of reality TV” thanks to his talk show which aired almost 5,000 episodes between 1991 and its cancellation in 2018. Springer wasn’t keen to accept the title and responded: “No, I just apologize. I’m so sorry. What have I done? I've ruined the culture.”
I hope that Jerry Springer accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Savior. I don’t anyone to go to Hell. The Bible talks about how terrible hell is. Most don’t realize that Jesus talked more about Hell than Heaven. That’s very sobering. It’s why it bothers me when even Christians use “Hell” loosely in conversation, like “Hell, yeah!” or “where in Hell have you been?”
Hell is so horrible, it’d be less repugnant to say something like “where in Auschwitz have you been?” or “it’s colder than Dachau.” Some things should never be spoken of lightly. They’re far too ghastly.
While they may not realize it, most people are Universalists. When someone dies, it doesn’t matter if they had nothing to do with Jesus Christ, and about the only time that they used His name was as a curse word. Even though their family considered them evil yet still speak of them as now being in Heaven. They’ll often describe them doing things in Heaven like hunting, fishing, golfing or even partying, getting drunk or carousing. Heaven in Scripture is never described like that. It’s fairytale language. And the Bible is clear that not everyone is going to there (Luke 16:19-31).
If everyone goes to Heaven, then how is God a God of justice? If everyone goes, does that mean in heaven we’ll find Jack the Ripper, John Wayne Gacy, or Mao? More than 27 times the Bible says, “God is just.” If everyone goes to heaven no matter what, how can God be just? What’s the cutoff? Is heaven only for the “not so bad”? Most of us think the “not so bad” is us and everyone who is as good or better than us goes to heaven.
Yet that’s not what Scripture teaches. Since heaven is God’s Home shouldn’t the “homeowner” determine who can live there. The Bible teaches that we’re all bad. Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” If we’re honest, we know that’s true. We’re not good people. We’re not even really nice people. Try going home after a Brewers game and see how many “nice” people will let you cut in to leave.
If when you die you die…is that justice? Hitler committed suicide, yet 6 million Jews were murdered in the Death Camps. Estimates suggest that in fact somewhere between 10 and 17 million people lost their lives at the hands of the Nazis. We innately know that there must be justice and desire justice, yet only God is truly just. Is rotting in a grave after committing such evil, justice? Would even annihilation be justice for such atrocities? Even the harshest execution wouldn’t be justice for such evil.
Does Karma equal things out? God’s Word never teaches karma. Even a cursory observation of life and death disproves karma. Many of the vilest people often have virtually painless deaths.
Karma is a theological concept found in Buddhism and Hinduism. It’s the idea that how you live your life now will determine the quality of life you have after reincarnation. But we don’t come back as cows or grasshoppers. If someone really believes in karma, they probably shouldn’t eat steak because they might just be eating someone’s cousin.
Hebrews 9:27 says, “Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment…” This verse makes clear two points that negate the possibility of reincarnation or karma. First, it states we’re “destined to die once,” meaning that humans are born once and only die once. There is no endless cycle of life and death and rebirth. Second, it states that after death we face judgment, meaning there is no second chance or reincarnation.
If everyone goes to Heaven, why did Jesus die? There’s only one explanation. There was no other way for God to be a God of justice and a God of love. In the Garden of Gethsemane the night before He was crucified, that’s what Jesus prayed and asked His Father, “Was there another way?” (Matthew 26:39). There wasn’t. Every parent would quickly sacrifice themselves for their own child. For God to be just and for God to be a God of love had to sacrifice His Son for us as sinners and when we were His enemies. Because Jesus died to pay for our sin, God could then be both just and justifier (Romans 3:16). It’s truly amazing!
Would God be just if He let bad people into heaven? 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 lists some of the types of sinners that won’t be in heaven. It’s nearly everyone and everything. Yet verse 11 says, “ And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.” In other words, all of these horrible individuals were forgiven and go to heaven BUT not because they were good. It’s only because they committed their lives to Christ and were forgiven. They accepted God’s free gift of salvation that Jesus promised in John 3:16.
One of the most amazing things about heaven to me is that the worst sinner I know will be there. It’s me! But I won’t be there because I’m a good person. I’ll be there because of God’s amazing grace and Christ’s sacrifice for me. I know I’m not a “good person.” I’ve probably violated all of the 10 commandments…at least in my heart. The reason I know that I’ll be there is because God promised that if anyone trusts Christ as their Savior and in His death on the cross for their sin, they’re forgiven.
As a young man, I did that. I believed Ephesians 2:8-9: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”
Each of us can know for sure we’re going to Heaven, even Jerry Springer. And if he trusted Christ as his Savior, he’ll be there too!