A Christ-follower with a limp: January 2017

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Playing it safe is DANGEROUS!

“When you play it too safe, you’re taking the biggest risk of your life. Time is the only wealth we’re given.” Barbara Sher

Periodically, I’ll joke that I’m at an age when I don’t even buy green bananas. Most of us, as we grow older, begin to play it safer and safer. We don’t want to take risks. We forget that life itself is a risk.

Organizations and institutions, even churches, can give into this foolishness of playing it safe. Organizations that desperately need to grow – sometimes just to survive – choose “safe” new leaders from the inside. They promote from within, though it’s obvious they’ve succumbed to the “Peter Principle” (The “Peter Principle” is a concept in management theory first formulated by Laurence J. Peter that people are often promoted one level above their competency). They don’t promote because of abilities, they promote because the candidate is safe. It’s why we elect incumbents election after election, even though they’re ineffective…but they’re safe.

Too many couples play it safe in their marriages. It’s why they have a so-so marriage. They’ve settled for being miserable but it’s not bad enough to get divorced. They continually bemoan how bad their marriage is. Yet, suggest that they go see someone to get help and you’ll hear, “Well, it’s not that bad.” Or, “My spouse will never go.” Relationships are like a mobile. If you change just one thing on the mobile, everything else must adapt. It’s like re-arranging the furniture in a room. If you move the furniture around, everything has to adjust. Too many marriages are like a well-worn script. But if just one partner changes the script, the other partner must change too. It doesn’t make sense to play it safe if you’re miserable.

Too many parents play it safe with their children. If most of us saw another parent doing what we habitually do, we’d be appalled. It often starts very young with what they want to eat or do. The child pitches a fit. To keep peace, the parent capitulates. If a parent finally does do something, it’s often because they’ve become exasperated and are reacting in anger, but then the parent feels guilty. A parent has all of the power. Parenting is not about playing it safe. The biblically commanded goal for Christian parents is godly children. It’s amazing that we know what it takes to educate children, yet would rather play it safe when it comes to their souls.

Too many parents play it safe with their adult children. As your child becomes an adult, your role changes to a friend rather than a parent. Yet, a parent of an adult child has a vested interest – often this young adult is raising a grandchild. Playing it safe is unwise for that grandchild’s soul.

Grandchildren love to stay at their grandparent’s home and most parents are willing to let them to get a break. It’s not complicated. Have them stay over on a Saturday night and bring them to church with you the next day.

If you have a single adult child who’s relocated and not part of a church family, when you visit – ask them to attend church with you. At the very least, as you would with any other friend, have a conversation with them about their spiritual direction. Way too much is at stake to play it safe!

Too many Christians play it safe with lost friends. If someone is truly my friend that means I really care about them. Shouldn’t I care about their eternal destiny? How can we say we really care about someone and never have a conversation about eternity? If that same friend were drunk would we let them get behind the wheel of a car and be silent? No way!

God did not call us to a “safe” life. Playing it safe is b-o-r-i-n-g. It’s the slow soggy death of sameness. Playing it safe is like picking vanilla when you go to Baskin & Robbins, oblivious that there are some 30 other flavors. Playing it safe is going the same way to work every day, going on vacation to the same place, going to the same restaurants, even going to the same church service and sitting in the same seat. It means you have the same style of clothes you’ve always had, listen to the same music, and watch the same shows. And you get upset when something changes that you can’t control in your safe little life.

The Christian life is one of risk and adventure. Churches and ministries who stay the same eventually become mausoleums, and then they have to change. While our beliefs based on Scripture must never change, the application of them in a rapidly changing culture must continually adapt. Believers who settle for safe miss out on God’s best. What a waste to commiserate about the good old days, yet never take a risk to invest in the present. It’s hypocritical to complain about modern day young people but refuse to invest in helping them mature and become more Christlike.

At 62, J.R.R. Tolkien published the ﬁrst volume of his fantasy series, Lord of the Rings. At 81, Bill Painter became the oldest person to reach the 14,411-foot summit of Mt. Rainier. At 95, Nola Ochs became the oldest person to receive a college diploma. At 96, Harry Bernstein published his ﬁrst book, The Invisible Wall, three years after he started writing to cope with loneliness after his wife of seventy years, Ruby, passed away. At 100, Frank Schearer seems to be the oldest active water skier in the world. Because the real question is “Why not?” If you wait until you’re ready you may wait forever. Step out on faith, trust God, trust yourself and leap.

So what will you tell yourself in 10 or 20 years? Or, when they share your eulogy, will they share what a boring person you ended up becoming? More importantly, what will you say at the Bema when the Lord asks why you stopped taking risks and settled for safe? God did not call us to be safe!

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.

Monday, January 23, 2017

The Irrational Hypocrisy of Abortion

"The abortion industry kills as many Black people every four days

as the Klan killed in 150 years.” John Piper

If you think about it, this counter-cultural reality that we need to even have a Sanctity of Life Sunday is very sad. It shows the irrationality of the dark world we live in that we must point out that mothers shouldn’t kill their children and that fathers shouldn’t be complicit in that decision. No human life is worthless or disposable, regardless of skin color, age, disability, economic status, etc. The very fact that these things must be proclaimed is a reminder of the moral horror of this present darkness.

I find that the abortion argument is based on an irrational hypocrisy. It’s same tired rational that a woman has the right to choose what she does with her own body. BUT she doesn’t have that right to choose in so many other areas. Abortion only gives her the right over her reproductive organs, even that’s legally limited. While it’s legal for a woman to have a baby scraped from her uterus, it’s illegal for her to sell her uterus or most other body parts. It’s illegal for her to cut off her own finger or gouge out her own eye. She can’t legally take her own life. But somehow it’s supposed to be rational for her to take the life of another because it’s “her body.”

Another irrational hypocrisy is that abortion needs to be legal because of all of the cases of rape, incest or where the mother’s life would be in jeopardy. If you add all of those “potential” cases together, they make up less than 5% of all abortions that take place. Politically (I didn’t say ethically or morally), if we who are pro-life compromised with a lost world on those potentialities, 95% of all abortions would become illegal.

Abortion is an irrational hypocrisy in that the father has no rights. The father has no legal right to intervene in whether his child lives or dies. Some will suggest he doesn’t have to carry a baby for nine months. No, but if the mother chooses to have the baby, legally, he must financially carry that child for the next 18 years with 17% of his income. He has no rights so that he can protect his child before birth, but has huge responsibilities if the mother chooses to have the baby. What about his rights?

Many rightly decry gun violence, suggesting the problem is easy access to guns in our culture. It’s irrational hypocrisy that many of these same individuals are not only pro-abortion but support the incomprehensible atrocity of partial birth abortion. With such a twisted worldview being purported and such a low value of children, is it any surprise child abuse has risen some 500% since abortion was legalized? If one does not value a child before they are born, why would they value them after they are born?

Partial birth abortion is so irrational that a baby can be killed even in the third trimester. Yet, if the mother has a vaginal birth and abandons or kills the child after its birth, she can be charged as a criminal. With the new discoveries in medical science, premature babies born as early as 22 weeks survive. Great emergency efforts are taken to save a preemie, yet a baby can still be aborted up to nearly full term but somehow it’s still a “fetus.”

It’s illegal for a minor to have her ears or anything else pierced without parental permission. Most schools won’t give a child even an aspirin. But in many states a pregnant teen can be taken by school personnel for an abortion without parental consent. It’s an irrational hypocrisy!

If some of the supporters of the Affordable Care Act had had their way, personal freedom would have trumped religious freedom. The original federal rules required companies, who because of their conscience or religious beliefs were opposed to abortion, to still fund it in their company insurance plans. Until wiser minds in the courts stepped in, ObamaCare mandated insurance coverage for abortion inducing drugs even on Catholic nuns – specifically, the Little Sisters of the Poor in blatant disregard that religious freedom is a Constitutional right. It’s an irrational hypocrisy that uses the Constitution like a baseball bat when it fits one’s worldview, yet ignore the 1^st amendment protecting those with religious convictions. It becomes more inane, in that nuns take a vow of chastity yet would be forced to pay for a service their religious vows would never make tenable.

There are nearly 700,000 abortions in the United States annually. The politically correct reasoning is abortion is needed so that there will not be all of these unwanted children. Yet, 58,000 children are adopted each year, some 6,500 of them are foreign children. Though there are no national statistics on how many people are waiting to adopt, experts estimate it’s somewhere between one and two million couples. It’s an irrational hypocrisy that refuses to add up the basic numbers. If every aborted baby was instead allowed to live and be adopted, there still would not be enough children for those desperately desiring to adopt. And currently, babies are adopted in spite of extremely high costs, onerous laws and immature mothers who change their mind at the last moment about the adoption.

Abortion is not just evil, it’s irrational. Let’s stop pretending it’s necessary. It’s the ultimate selfishness, taking the life of another so one’s own life is not “complicated.” Christians must be the greatest advocates of life. We must advocate and teach our children biblical morality so abortion is never a temptation. We must support adoption and foster care programs.

In Christian love we must assist young mothers emotionally and financially who choose life and decide to have that child. We must have Jesus’ view of the wonderful value of children and teach our own children a biblical worldview of the sanctity of God’s precious gift of human life.

Monday, January 16, 2017

Hating Waiting

“And sure enough, even waiting will end...if you can just wait long enough.” William Faulkner

A few weeks ago I left my I-phone downstairs overnight. Typically, I have it next to my bed, as we no longer have a landline in case of an emergency…I also use it for my alarm. The next morning when I picked it up, my phone was dead. While I didn’t think it had run out of battery overnight, I plugged it in to see if perhaps that might be the problem. It wasn’t. So I took it to our in-house technology guru, but she couldn’t figure out what the problem was either. To be honest, it was kind of nice to not have a phone but I knew I needed to resolve it. So after lunch I headed to my local cell phone provider’s store.

My family will tell you that I try to never go anywhere without a book. After all, you never know when you might break down, run out of gas or be stuck with a long train. That day there was just one service rep in the store and three other people were ahead of me. As I waited, I caught up on some reading. After an hour, the tech was still assisting the same customers that he was when I first walked in, so I decided to become the official “non-greeter.” I’d seen others walk in, wait a bit and when it became apparent the line wasn’t moving, leave in a huff. I made it humorous yet began to warn newbies that it might be a l-o-n-g wait, as those ahead of them had already been waiting over an hour. One family came in, noticed the line and mentioned that maybe they should check online first. Overhearing that I encouraged them to do so, even joking that the DMV might be faster. I wasn’t upset or rude. I truly was trying to keep others from becoming frustrated and the rep actually thanked me for being an official non-greeter.

It probably violates some dumb company policy to warn patrons of long waits. Yet, I’m sure glares from impatient customers are stressful for reps. No one wants to agitate others, particularly when it’s out of our control.

Most of us deplore waiting. One friend defined a “nanosecond” as that brief moment of time from when the traffic light turns green to when the person behind you hits their horn if you don’t move. We hate standing in line, despise traffic and twiddling our thumbs in the doctor’s office frustrates us. Waiting is nearly criminal in our time oriented culture, yet it’s a part of life that we all have to learn to endure.

But there are other more serious kinds of waiting than that of waiting for customer service. There’s the waiting of a single person to see if God has marriage in the future for him or her. There’s the waiting of a childless couple, desperately longing to start a family but year after year…their prayers bear no fruit. There’s the waiting of someone with a serious disease and the treatment is almost as bad as the illness. There’s the waiting of the person suffering with depression who struggles each day to get out of bed. They wonder if they’ll ever see the sun shine again in their life.

Many of us have experienced difficult waiting times. Perhaps it’s what inspired Lewis Smedes to write, “Waiting is our destiny. As creatures who cannot by themselves bring about what they hope for, we wait in the darkness for a flame we cannot light. We wait in fear for a happy ending we cannot write. We wait for a ‘not yet’ that feels like a ‘not ever.”

Yet, God often calls us to wait. Waiting, without question is the hardest work of hope. As we read the Bible, God Himself, Who is all-powerful, all-wise, and all-loving repeatedly asks us to do just that – to wait. In the book of Genesis God came to Abraham when he was already 75 years old and said, “Abraham, you’re going to become a father, you’ll be the forefather of a great nation. But it won’t happen today…you must wait.” And it took nearly a quarter of a century. God told His people, Israel, they would be a great nation that they’d be able to leave the slavery of Egypt and be free and independent… but they had to wait 400 years for that to happen.

We wait and we wait. 43 times in the Old Testament, we find this command, “Wait on the Lord.” It’s an instruction running through Scripture until the last words in the last chapter of the book of Revelation. The Apostle John closes with, “The One who testifies to these things, says, ‘Behold, I am coming soon.” It may not seem like it, but in light of eternity, it’s soon. Then, John pens this reply, “Come, Lord Jesus.” In other words, “We’ll hang on. But please come. We’re waiting for you.”

Why? Why does God make us wait? After all, God can do anything and since He’s all loving, why doesn’t He bring us relief and quick answers?

Because it’s in the waiting God molds and matures us. What God does in us while we wait is as important as what we are waiting for. It’s hard for us to understand, but there’s vital growth that can only happen to us in those times when we suffer through long periods of waiting. God makes us wait because He knows it’s good for us. As we wait, He is at work in us…molding us and shaping us, maturing us.

Waiting is something by its very nature that only the humble can do, or at least only the humble can do with grace. To wait for someone is to realize I’m not in control or calling the shots. In our society there’s a direct correlation between status and waiting. To grow in times of waiting on God we must remember we’re not in charge. He’s the Potter; we’re the clay.

Are you having difficulty waiting on God? Is it because you’re trusting more in your timing than His? Is your pride making it more difficult? Have you forgotten who the creature is and that He’s the Creator? You can trust the Father’s wisdom and timing because you can always trust His heart.

Monday, January 9, 2017

Mercy: You need it and need to share it!

“Those who are furthest from giving mercy are furthest from

receiving it.” John MacArthur

In the early days of his presidency, Calvin Coolidge woke up one morning in his hotel room to find a burglar going through his pockets. President Coolidge spoke up, asking the burglar not to take his watch chain because it contained an engraved charm he wanted to keep. The President then engaged the thief in quiet conversation and discovered that he was a college student who didn’t have money to pay his hotel bill or even buy a ticket back to campus. So President Coolidge counted $32 out of his wallet, which he’d also persuaded the dazed young man to give back, told him it was a loan, and advised the young man to leave the same way he’d come in so as to avoid the Secret Service! And yes, the young man did pay the loan back. That was mercy.

Mercy is compassion, kindly forbearance shown toward an offender or an enemy. It’s graciousness, pity, or benevolence. It’s a very biblical trait…it characterizes God. Sadly, ours is a merciless world. Mercy is rarely found apart from the Christ’s Church because our God is a God of great mercy.

If you’re a Christian, you’ve been shown great mercy. We are to give mercy just as it has been given to us and we’ll never give as much as was given to us. Jesus promised, too, there’s a blessing for the merciful, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” This means the unmerciful miss out on God’s blessings. How can I be a person of mercy?

Be kind with the quirks of others. We all have them. God is not in the mass production business. Our quirks are part of what make us unique. I’m not talking about sin but unique mannerisms. A pagan, heartless world humiliates those who are different, yet quirks are what often distinguish us. Sometimes we call them idiosyncrasies or peculiarities. They can be odd behavior, even irritating habits. God wants us to demonstrate mercy so we don’t become impatient, irritated or uptight with someone else’s quirks.

For example, some people put ketchup on nearly everything they eat. Big deal! My wife loves for things to be organized. Me, well…I file chronologically. A great marriage is a union of two great forgivers. As you consistently show forgiveness to your children and teach them to show it to each other, you’re modeling your Heavenly Father because the very first place we must learn to show mercy is at home. Why? Because it’s there we see each other’s faults and quirks far more clearly than anywhere else.

Help anyone who’s hurting around you. We’re surrounded by hurting people. Unfortunately, we’re too busy to notice. If you care you’re aware. God designed our eyes to look outward not inward for a reason. Jesus taught the story of the Good Samaritan to teach us to help the hurting around us. Our neighbor is whoever hurts, regardless of how different they are from us. You must be merciful to love your neighbor as yourself.

Give others a second, third…or fourth chance. I’m often embarrassed when I come to God because I’m confessing the same sin over and over again. But He always forgives me (1 John 1:9). We’re to do the same for others. When a lost person is wronged, they respond with harsh words, anger…bitterness. Watch Facebook during some media controversy. Watch how merciless people react to each other. That can’t be those who know the God of great mercy! We’re to be known as the people of mercy.

Do good to those who hurt you. Mercy is giving people what they need, not what they deserve. It’s what God does for us. Yet, wounded people often wound others. Jesus modeled for us that those who you want to despise are those you must love and who need it the most. The most hurtful people are those who need massive doses of love and mercy.

Be kind to those who offend you. The attacks on Christians will increase. Believers represent God’s holiness to a devolving world. We must hold on to God’s truth. How should we respond when we’re attacked? We must be kind to those who are hateful (Romans 12:14-21). We’re in the midst of a culture war. Wars come with tragic costs. We must decide whether we want to win arguments or people to Christ. You never win people by being caustic, harsh or mean. Just begin by praying for those who offend you.

Be a bridge builder of God’s love, especially to the unpopular. Every school, neighborhood and workplace has some. We all have those around us that others dodge, usually ridiculing behind their backs. They may have quirks, lack basic life-skills, have a different lifestyle or belief system. They may have a different religion or dress differently because of their culture. They’re not part of the “in crowd.” Essentially, they’re outcasts. And reaching out to them may even bring ridicule upon yourself.

God has called us to be the mediators of His love. Why? Because you’ll never win your enemies to Christ; you can only win your friends. If you live a life of mercy you’ll be criticized, sometimes even by other Christians. Jesus wasn’t afraid of guilt by association – He knew exactly who He was and His mission: to seek and to save that which is lost.

Relationships are more important than rules. I’m not just talking about written rules but also unwritten ones. Determine to commit an act of premeditated kindness this week. Who can you reach out to, invite out for coffee or lunch…or to your home for a meal? Read the Gospels and mark down every time Jesus touched the life of someone that according to the “rules,” He shouldn’t have. His disciples were the odd bunch, held together by His love. That’s what He wants to do with us and our church. He wants us to be a community of mercy. Choose to be merciful! Start now!

Monday, January 2, 2017

The Plague of Mid-life Disillusionment

“One of the hardest things to do in life is to let go of what you thought was real.”

Do you ever watch a movie and ask yourself: “What was the point?” Too many people live lives like that – “What’s the point?” While that type of thinking is understandable for an unbeliever without a biblical worldview of life, it should be foreign for a Christian. Sadly, it isn’t.

Can we talk? This is not the typical conversation we have at the start of a new year. Since today is the first day of 2017, many see it as a brand new page…a chance to begin again with a clean slate. For too many though, it’s a reminder time is ticking by. Another year is gone; another one is here.

Maybe in the past, you’d stay up late to welcome in the New Year. You used to be excited about the freshness, the potential opportunities…now not so much. Maybe you actually dread it.

Too many Christians struggle with deep disillusionment. It’s nearly epidemic, particularly for middle aged believers. It’s also different in how this attacks the two genders. Basically, it’s disappointment with how life has turned out…and if we’re honest, it’s often disappointment with God. We just thought that things were going to be better, but they’re not, so we’re disappointed and disillusioned. Most probably won’t end up in the dark mental cave of a Jean-Paul Sartre who said “life is an empty bubble, floating on the sea of nothingness.” Yet, we may not be that far removed from such an outlook. Disillusionment is the mother of apathy, depression and despair. So let me share some generalizations and hope for you…

Disillusionment for women. Often a middle-aged woman begins with a very different picture of how marriage and family were going to be than the one they’re living out. Even if it had not been their history, they still dreamed it would be their future. They pictured continual romance with a man who loved them. Not oceanic but warm and at times, still glowing. They dreamed of hand holding and romantic quiet escapes together. If they come from a Christian worldview, they may have pictured serving the Lord together, family devotions, sitting in church together worshipping as a family. Often the dream isn’t a nightmare, though that happens. But they find they’re more like roommates, business partners, rather than lovers.

And they never, in their worst nightmare, dreamed their little bundle that they’d so longed for, that they went through so much pain to bring into this world, the one for whom they kissed every scraped knee and wiped so many tears away for…would one day barely mumble at them. Or, worse spit out horrible things with hate, anger and venom. Every day is a battle. They may feel imprisoned in their own home. They’re just so hurt and disillusioned. But sadly, most of the other wives and moms they know are living out lives similar to theirs, so there appears to be no hope.

Disillusionment for men. It’s usually not on the home front where most middle-aged men become disillusioned. It’s in their career and work track. They may even be oblivious to how very unhappy their wife is.

At one time they dreamed of finding fulfillment in their job. They were excited to go to work. At midlife, they thought they’d be much further along than they are. Now they realize their dreams will probably never be fulfilled. They’re just hoping to not be downsized, demoted, or terminated. They see others far less talented, being promoted ahead of them. They look toward retirement, not because they really want to. It’s a question of sanity. They need to have something to look forward to. Work is a grind. They drag through each day, week…year. They don’t really enjoy weekends or vacation because, in the end, they know they still have to go back to work.

Unfortunately, this defeated army of the disillusioned men and women just settles. Rather than dealing with core issues, many settle by merely muddling through day after day. Some may jump into a new relationship or at least abandon the one they’re in. It’s why divorce rates spike in midlife. Others pour themselves into the weekend or some hobby, or attempt to live vicariously through their children. Some will self-medicate. Some attempt to anesthetize themselves with sports or entertainment. Anything, rather than their feelings of quiet desperation. Some even pour themselves into a pet or a grandchild. Tragically, a few give up all hope, ending it all.

What’s the solution? Most of us don’t like the medicine. We want to be placated, not cured. But it begins with confession. It’s a pattern you see throughout Scripture. Disillusionment is the product of simmering anger and bitterness. Our resentment toward our family, job…or whatever, is ultimately resentment toward God. After all, He’s in control and He didn’t come through for us. We feel God owes us. But He doesn’t. He’s already given His Son so we can be forgiven and this world can be truly temporary.

We need renewal. It’s time to discard immature, idealistic dreams, replacing them with getting to know the Father who loves us, is there for us, and can meet our needs. It means holy habits of Bible study, prayer, worship, serving, being part of a community of faith, sharing our faith.

Live for an audience of One. We will never satisfy our spouse, children or employer…and they will never satisfy us. Too often we foolishly think, “if only _____ would change,” whether it’s our family or employer. Instead, we must change, seeking to please the One who truly knows what is best for us and loves us unconditionally. Proverbs 16:7, “When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.”

Look for evidences of grace. We tend to rarely miss the negative or something to complain about. Yet in Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he begins by observing evidences of God’s grace in them (1:4). It’s shocking because they’re the worst church in the New Testament. Most of us would have had difficulty getting past their glaring sins to commend the grace of God in their midst. Yet, Paul looks below the surface and praises God for the grace he sees in them. How did he do that? How can we do that? By enjoying common grace. Focus on small blessings. Enjoy a warm cup of coffee or a friendly smile or even the tail of a wagging dog. By enjoying special grace. Relish the fact you’re loved and accepted unconditionally because Jesus died for you. Meditate on God’s promises. Praise Him for His goodness. Pray others will know Him, too.

Live for the real world. “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” If you focus on this life, you’ll end up very disillusioned. As a believer, you must realize that you’re a pilgrim. Everything in this world is temporary, so pour yourself into eternity. Live for what truly matters and it will set you free!